by Rev. Jean “Drum” Pagano
Borvo: Bormana, it is time that we leave the forests and streams of Bourbonnes-les-Bains and venture into the nearby city to see how these savages lives
Bormana: As long as we do not stay too far away from our healing and bubbling waters
Borvo: Not to worry, beloved! I can easily find a source or stream to soothe our bodies and our souls
Bormana: Then let us find a place to relax and pray
Borvo: I hear bubbling waters near that sign that says “Bains”
Bormana: Let us step inside
There are young, naked people frolicking in a series of hot tubs.
Borvo: By the Gods, these people are lovely and the waters are warm!
Bormana: Borvo, does another God control this well, right here in Gaul?
Borvo: Young woman…
Young woman: You two are just so beautiful – slide on in! The water will just make you want to melt.
Borvo and Bormana slip into the hot tub.
Borvo: How is it that this water is so warm? From whence does it come? Is it warmed by Belenos himself?
Young woman: The water is always like this – all year long, isn’t it amazing? Awesome temperature, just right pressure, and beautiful bodies all around.
Borvo: Which Gods controls this spring, for it surely is not me!
Bormana: These people have strange ways, Borvo
Young woman: Which God? This has nothing to do with Gods or God; this is all controlled by a machine! Haven’t you ever been in a hot tub before?
Borvo: Never!
Young woman: Oh, well these hot tubs are divine, year ‘round! The water is so blue and dreamy
Borvo: Divine! They are in no way divine! I will show you divine!
The waters bubble and rise straight up, out of the hot tub, as a column rising five meters into the air. Borvo, Bormana, the young woman and her partner are sitting at the top of the pillar of water.
Young woman: Oh my God! Can you let us down so that Jean can grab his phone to take a picture so we can post it on Facebook? People will never believe this! How did you do it?